“My uncle left his office unlocked,” she said, looking into my eyes. “You can fuck on his desk.” She turned and walked toward the door, dragging me along behind her. The vice-like grip around my penis told me in no uncertain terms that my only choice was between obedience and castration. The door to TB's inner sanctum was indeed unlocked, and it swung silently open into a dark space. Hailey marched inside, still leading me along, and switched on the lights. Compared to the rest of the cramped, tube-lit office suite we all shared, TB's private domain was a veritable palace. It was enormous, well-carpeted and tastefully lit. A bookcase crammed with important-looking folders took up one entire wall, and a line of dark wooden cupboards and drawers took up another. Opposite that was a wide window looking out over a babbling stream onto a night-dark patch of trees. There was a tall drinks cabinet in one corner, fronted with thick glass and crowded with expensive-looking bottles. . The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Mrs. Bill Clinton?”✧ ✧ ✧I was traveling between The Villages and Ocala the other day when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it, too, was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window,“Need a lift?”“Yes, I sure do,” I replied.“You a Republican or Democrat,” asked the old man.“Republican,” I replied.“Well, you can just go to Hell,” yelled the old man as he sped off.Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question.Again, I gave the same answer, “Republican.”The driver gave me the finger and drove off. I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few Republicans. The next car to stop was.
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